Internet in the Home

Having talked to many parents about their approaches to managing Internet usage in their homes, I'm confident that despite the potential dangers of the Internet many families aren't doing anything or are doing far too little to protect their families.

I'd like to open this post up to you:

  • What are you doing to control and monitor Internet usage?

  • What products have you used and would you recommend? Which would you not recommend?

  • What resources have helped or continue to help you?


Have at it...

NOTE: Nothing that you read in this post should be construed as an endorsement (or condemnation) of any product by either myself or by the Church. This is an opportunity for you to share information with each other. You should do your own research and analysis before purchasing any product listed here.

Book Club: Hard Facts, Dangerous Half-Truths & Total Nonsense

It's easy to find advice. Consultants, trainers and authors offer more than we can consume. This book by Pfeffer & Sutton, authors of The Knowing-Doing Gap, attempts to teach us how to know what advice to accept.

360 Reviews

I've adopted a management technique which I feel adds significant value to my direct reports. I've been doing this for many years, both in my current job and also at Microsoft before this.

360 reviews

This is hardly a new or novel tool, but I think it's worthwhile to explain the approach. 

Twice per year I talk to all of my direct reports. I ask them for feedback on me and I ask them for feedback on each other. I explain very carefully that all feedback will be kept confidential, but I strongly urge each to take issues with their peers directly to their peers. Still, there is a place for confidential feedback and this is an appropriate venue for that.

I then meet with each of the direct reports of my direct reports. I typically set this up in 15 minute increments. These are obviously much more effective when I send an email explaining what I'll be doing. I request that the individual come prepared to discuss both the strengths and weaknesses, not only of their boss, but also of their boss' peers.

Often, an individual won't say anything meaningful. I ask probing questions to try to bring out feedback, but I'm very careful not to "lead" the discussion to arrive at some pre-conceived notion I have in my head. Questions I ask include the following:

  • Imagine the perfect "VP of Whatever Your Boss Does." What is the difference between your current boss and that perfect boss.

  • Tell me some of the feedback your boss has given you that has helped you improve.

  • How often do you have one-on-ones with your boss?


These are just a few examples, but it's important to ask these probing questions as people initially feel uncomfortable with this approach. They feel like they're "squeeling" on their boss. It's critical that you make it clear to people that this is a way to help these people improve; it's not punitive. I try to enlist my directs to get the message out that they want hard feedback.

Once I've gathered all of the feedback, I synthesize it, roughly categorize it and then put it into summary form. I then give it back to the employee to whom it's directed. It might look something like the following:

  • You're very well liked by your direct reports. They're very loyal.

    • One said she'd follow you anywhere.

    • Another said you inspire him to improve.



  • Others outside of your organization are afraid of you.

    • One person said: "I get hives whenever he walks down the hall oustide my office."

    • Another said: "I have nightmares about this person."



  • You're generally recognized as being highly capable, technically. I saw this myself in the way you handled the such-and-such project.

  • There is a perception that you continually miss deadlines. While the data doesn't show this, you should understand that this perception exists.

  • One person believes you steal money from poor people. I don't agree with this one, but you should know that at least one person has this perception.

  • Your peers generally feel like you're weak at follow through and strong at motivating.

  • And so forth.


As I go through this with them verbally, I will paranthetically add my own comments: I agree with this perception, I don't agree with this perception, I've noticed this example, etc. Examples of those are italicized above.

The last time I did this, I tried it via email. It was good and bad. It was good because I think people prepared more. However I didn't like losing the interactivity.

One last thing. If you've never had your boss do this for you, ask him/her to do it! It's a lot of work, but it's a great tool for your own personal development.

Book Club: The Anatomy of Peace

And now another leadership book by Arbinger Institute. Can't get enough of the stuff.