I've just started reading Leadership and Self-Deception, Arbringer Institute. Has anyone read it? If so, I invite your comments. If not, grab a copy and join me in reading it!
The fable style reminds me of 5 Dysfunctions of a Team. Some people don't get into it. Doesn't bother me. I can already tell this will be like Bonds That Make Us Free. Very personally applicable. According to the book, understanding self-deception and its purported solution "sharpens vision, reduces feelings of conflict, enlivens the desire for teamwork, redoubles accountability, magnifiies the capcity to achieve results, and deepens satisfaction and happiness." Tall orders.
I read this two years ago and thought it was ok. Nothing really life changing to me anyway. The first half of the book was leading up to some really good stuff and it just seems like it loses steam. Personally I got the same message from "Who moved my cheese?" and it didn't need to belabor the point to death.
I'm a big fan of Arbinger. That said, I think the new "Anatomy of Peace" goes through the same concepts, and has a stronger conclusion. For a religious take on the same concept, I'd check out "the Peace Giver" if you haven't already.
The Good thing is all of these books are short easy reads.
As for others who have commented, it's been some years since I read the book. I found it engaging, but also expected a grander conclusion. The message was deceptively simple: real satisfaction with life and effectiveness in your home and work relationships requires that you be honest with yourself and others. The importance of the read for me was to illuminate my moments of self-deception in these areas. Stay with it to the end.
I read it around August 2002. What struck me and remains vivid in my mind is a passage that in essence says, if you are self-deceived then any decision you make will possess some degree of error. The book led me to The Bonds that Make Us Free, which I do not think I have would read or even noticed. I can't say enough of how much I benefited from reading both of them, particularly the latter.
It is excellent. It is also deceptively simple. Please do not gloss over it, as the most dangerous words you can say are: "I already know that". Odds are, you may know it, but do you really live it? (BTW, the concepts I learned from this book made me a much better husband to my wife as we worked together to deal with our new child, and that alone was a wonderful validation of its principles).
For me, the issue was: am I discounting the humanity of the other person (even a little bit), i.e. am I tempted to treat this person (even a little bit) as an object, a means to an end? That simple little initial decision - "full human" or "human of use to me" - makes ALL the difference to one's subsequent thoughts / thought patterns. One cannot start thinking right until one retraces one's thinking back to this decision, which is where most people make the major wrong turn.
This is why people cannot seem to get out of "erroneous loops". No amount of thinking with a bad frame will ever stumble upon the way out of the trap. IMHO, it goes like this: if others are just pylons for me to navigate around, hassles to deal with, or means to my ends, why do they get so perturbed when I act in ways consistent with my beliefs about them (hint: because they are not anything I may think them to be - they are people, not cardboard cutouts :-} )? Heaven help the person who tries to technique, argue, or simply rationalize their way out of the resulting problems their thinking has caused....
Remember, God sees us always a as person deserving the fullest of everything (including the gift of His Son's Atonement); the adversary sees us as things to use, abuse, and ultimately impose his will upon. This book helps you see the start of the adversary's thinking patterns if and when they arise in yourself. What you then do is *your* choice (but then again, it always was, was it not? ;-} )
Our IT staff read this at BYU-Hawaii back in 2000, or so. It was a really good read, and I still recommend it to others.
In some ways, it's like most other business books--lots of "Well, duh!" moments, but some good gems in there. And in any case, often what you've heard before is worth being reminded about.
This book really struck a chord with me. "Being in the box" is something I face a lot, so I have found that I need to periodically reread this book as well as The Anatomy of Peace, which I enjoyed even more.
The concepts Dr. Warner are attempting to convey I believe are much deeper than the stories and examples he portrays I took a class from Dr. Warner in the mid-80's where he taught some of principles espoused here. While I didn't quite "get it" then (although I got an A), I have since realized that managing self-deception within our personal relationships is a key component of our expected learnings in this life. This stuff ties back to the atonement - a topic Dr. Warner unfortunately avoids because he wants to broaden his audience. It is deceptively simple, and infinitely important.
I read the book several years ago and recommended it to all of my co-workers. It has excellent insights as to how we view others - both at work and at home. My understanding is that the book was acatually based on Terry Warner's book "Bonds That Make Us Free" since Terry's book had not yet been officially published. Actually, I think I got more out of "Leadership and Self-Deception" than "Bonds That Make Us Free" because it was an easier read. Anyway both books are great!
Did anyone know that the book is being serialized on Meridian Magazine? I have found it a great way to "read" the book - a chapter at a time with the opportunity between chapters to let it sink in and work on the concepts.
I read the book a couple of years ago and found it very insightful, but if I had to choose between the two books, I'd recommend "Bonds That Make Us Free". Of course, there's no real need to choose one or the other: read them both!
I ended up really enjoying this book. The fiction didn't draw me in all that much, but it made it easier to read. That said, a book with just the key points would have been an even easier read since the book would have been about 20 pages.
The principles are classic, and a great reminder one of one of my all-time fave books: Bonds That Make Us Free.
I more often spot myself being "in the box," especially post facto. It allows me to reset and pull myself back out by figuring out ways to serve whomever I feel like I'm in the box toward.
It's amazing to me how many LDS "self-help" gurus are on top of the game. They're basically teaching Christian principles and they resonate with people. They work!
Leadership and Self Deception is one of the greatest books I have ever read. It was my realization that my ill-treatment of others caused distrust and demoralization that truly enabled me to change myself. I knew that by looking at others as objects and not people spread germs of progress-ional sterility, essentially killing the productivity of co-workers and the people I was supposed to be leading, just as realistically as Semmelweis’ deadly germs killed so many in his Vienna hospital.
I would strongly suggest that you read and re-read this book, until you come to that same realization. If you blaze over the book and do not internalize its message, you will have wasted your time.
Joel, I appreciated your commentary on both "Leadership and Self-Deception" and "The Bonds That Make Us Free". I am in the process of compiling personal and redemptive stories from people internationally who have begun to recognize these stories or even had them facilitated by what they have discovered in these books and/or other Arbinger publications. If you would be willing to share your personal stor(ies), I would love to include them. Please email them to me at kwwilstead@gmail.com and specify if you would like the names changed (to protect privacy) in your stories. Thank you so much.
For everyone else who has commented, please join with us and submit your stories as well. Thank you.
The fable style reminds me of 5 Dysfunctions of a Team. Some people don't get into it. Doesn't bother me. I can already tell this will be like Bonds That Make Us Free. Very personally applicable. According to the book, understanding self-deception and its purported solution "sharpens vision, reduces feelings of conflict, enlivens the desire for teamwork, redoubles accountability, magnifiies the capcity to achieve results, and deepens satisfaction and happiness." Tall orders.
ReplyDeleteI read this two years ago and thought it was ok. Nothing really life changing to me anyway. The first half of the book was leading up to some really good stuff and it just seems like it loses steam. Personally I got the same message from "Who moved my cheese?" and it didn't need to belabor the point to death.
ReplyDeleteI'm a big fan of Arbinger. That said, I think the new "Anatomy of Peace" goes through the same concepts, and has a stronger conclusion. For a religious take on the same concept, I'd check out "the Peace Giver" if you haven't already.
ReplyDeleteThe Good thing is all of these books are short easy reads.
I read it a while ago. It has good analogies of being outside the box and seeing people as people and not as objects. Good read!
ReplyDeleteI read it 2000 and found the concepts interesting and informative but it moved much too slow to hold my interest clear to the end.
ReplyDeleteAs for others who have commented, it's been some years since I read the book. I found it engaging, but also expected a grander conclusion. The message was deceptively simple: real satisfaction with life and effectiveness in your home and work relationships requires that you be honest with yourself and others. The importance of the read for me was to illuminate my moments of self-deception in these areas. Stay with it to the end.
ReplyDeleteI read it around August 2002. What struck me and remains vivid in my mind is a passage that in essence says, if you are self-deceived then any decision you make will possess some degree of error. The book led me to The Bonds that Make Us Free, which I do not think I have would read or even noticed. I can't say enough of how much I benefited from reading both of them, particularly the latter.
ReplyDeleteIt is excellent. It is also deceptively simple. Please do not gloss over it, as the most dangerous words you can say are: "I already know that". Odds are, you may know it, but do you really live it? (BTW, the concepts I learned from this book made me a much better husband to my wife as we worked together to deal with our new child, and that alone was a wonderful validation of its principles).
ReplyDeleteFor me, the issue was: am I discounting the humanity of the other person (even a little bit), i.e. am I tempted to treat this person (even a little bit) as an object, a means to an end? That simple little initial decision - "full human" or "human of use to me" - makes ALL the difference to one's subsequent thoughts / thought patterns. One cannot start thinking right until one retraces one's thinking back to this decision, which is where most people make the major wrong turn.
This is why people cannot seem to get out of "erroneous loops". No amount of thinking with a bad frame will ever stumble upon the way out of the trap. IMHO, it goes like this: if others are just pylons for me to navigate around, hassles to deal with, or means to my ends, why do they get so perturbed when I act in ways consistent with my beliefs about them (hint: because they are not anything I may think them to be - they are people, not cardboard cutouts :-} )? Heaven help the person who tries to technique, argue, or simply rationalize their way out of the resulting problems their thinking has caused....
Remember, God sees us always a as person deserving the fullest of everything (including the gift of His Son's Atonement); the adversary sees us as things to use, abuse, and ultimately impose his will upon. This book helps you see the start of the adversary's thinking patterns if and when they arise in yourself. What you then do is *your* choice (but then again, it always was, was it not? ;-} )
Our IT staff read this at BYU-Hawaii back in 2000, or so. It was a really good read, and I still recommend it to others.
ReplyDeleteIn some ways, it's like most other business books--lots of "Well, duh!" moments, but some good gems in there. And in any case, often what you've heard before is worth being reminded about.
This book really struck a chord with me. "Being in the box" is something I face a lot, so I have found that I need to periodically reread this book as well as The Anatomy of Peace, which I enjoyed even more.
ReplyDeleteThe concepts Dr. Warner are attempting to convey I believe are much deeper than the stories and examples he portrays I took a class from Dr. Warner in the mid-80's where he taught some of principles espoused here. While I didn't quite "get it" then (although I got an A), I have since realized that managing self-deception within our personal relationships is a key component of our expected learnings in this life. This stuff ties back to the atonement - a topic Dr. Warner unfortunately avoids because he wants to broaden his audience. It is deceptively simple, and infinitely important.
ReplyDeleteI read the book several years ago and recommended it to all of my co-workers. It has excellent insights as to how we view others - both at work and at home. My understanding is that the book was acatually based on Terry Warner's book "Bonds That Make Us Free" since Terry's book had not yet been officially published. Actually, I think I got more out of "Leadership and Self-Deception" than "Bonds That Make Us Free" because it was an easier read. Anyway both books are great!
ReplyDeleteGreat feedback, all! I'm a hundred or so pages into it and enjoying it!!
ReplyDeleteDid anyone know that the book is being serialized on Meridian Magazine? I have found it a great way to "read" the book - a chapter at a time with the opportunity between chapters to let it sink in and work on the concepts.
ReplyDeleteI read the book a couple of years ago and found it very insightful, but if I had to choose between the two books, I'd recommend "Bonds That Make Us Free". Of course, there's no real need to choose one or the other: read them both!
ReplyDeleteI ended up really enjoying this book. The fiction didn't draw me in all that much, but it made it easier to read. That said, a book with just the key points would have been an even easier read since the book would have been about 20 pages.
ReplyDeleteThe principles are classic, and a great reminder one of one of my all-time fave books: Bonds That Make Us Free.
I more often spot myself being "in the box," especially post facto. It allows me to reset and pull myself back out by figuring out ways to serve whomever I feel like I'm in the box toward.
It's amazing to me how many LDS "self-help" gurus are on top of the game. They're basically teaching Christian principles and they resonate with people. They work!
Great book. 7/10
Leadership and Self Deception is one of the greatest books I have ever read. It was my realization that my ill-treatment of others caused distrust and demoralization that truly enabled me to change myself. I knew that by looking at others as objects and not people spread germs of progress-ional sterility, essentially killing the productivity of co-workers and the people I was supposed to be leading, just as realistically as Semmelweis’ deadly germs killed so many in his Vienna hospital.
ReplyDeleteI would strongly suggest that you read and re-read this book, until you come to that same realization. If you blaze over the book and do not internalize its message, you will have wasted your time.
Joel,
ReplyDeleteI appreciated your commentary on both "Leadership and Self-Deception" and "The Bonds That Make Us Free". I am in the process of compiling personal and redemptive stories from people internationally who have begun to recognize these stories or even had them facilitated by what they have discovered in these books and/or other Arbinger publications. If you would be willing to share your personal stor(ies), I would love to include them. Please email them to me at kwwilstead@gmail.com and specify if you would like the names changed (to protect privacy) in your stories. Thank you so much.
For everyone else who has commented, please join with us and submit your stories as well. Thank you.