What Got You Here Won't Get You There is the best business book I've read in a long time. The premise is that executives (and managers) will be more successful leaders if they quit being jerks. Sounds simple, but he enumerates exceptional examples of his canonical "20 reasons why leaders fail."
It includes things like "always having to be heard," "shooting the messenger," and "not saying thank you."
Not only does he give hard hitting examples, but he talks about how to start getting rid of these personality and leadership flaws.
Here's the one I'm going to work on: "saying but."
Scenario: Colleague comes in with great idea. Instead of saying "thank you" and expressing the enthusiasm that I actually feel, I say something like: "That's really cool, but..." and then proceed to make my mark on the conversation by bringing up some reason why the idea is partially flawed or a "counterpoint to think about" or just some general critique.
What's the point? Think before you talk and thank people for speaking up! Don't be Mr. Debate all the time! I'm resolving to quit.
These actually sound like ways to treat others as Christ would. Hm...
ReplyDeleteSaying "but," I think, can be even more detrimental with friends and family members. How often do we apologize, saying "I'm sorry, but" (implying that they actually deserved it and we're not sorry?), or how often do we say "I love you, but" (implying that we won't love them unless they do what we're about to add?)?
Sounds like an interesting read!
A timely lesson for me... I could really use help in this area right now. I often struggle with making the right trade-offs of when to back off and let an idea run and when to take a stand to modify the idea to "increase efficiencies".
ReplyDeleteThis happens as often in Ward Correlation as it does in the business boardroom.
Thanks for sharing this!
New commenter...
ReplyDeleteMy name is Waldo, and I'm a communications officer in the US Army. I am dealing with a boss right now who, to put it bluntly, is a jerk. As he was giving me my annual review, he saw fit to give me advice for my upcoming command. In a nutshell, it was that to be successful, I have to be a jerk.
I've been in the army 11 years, and have never seen that style be effective. I wish that more leaders outside of the business world would find these resources and take their lessons to heart.
Thanks for the blog, and posting what you do. It's pretty inspiring.
Thanks for the heads-up on the book. I agree, it's a great read for those wanting to strive to do better, but just don't know where or how to start.
ReplyDeleteThe next time you are analyzing the another person's work/ideas, try switching the word "but" with "and".
ReplyDeleteExample: "That's an excellent suggestion AND how will we address (possible challenge here)".
The change in thought process and attitude is interesting. Instead of coming off as being adversarial, your thoughts and words naturally take on a more cooperative tone.